Blue Badgers versus Books Etc. [ Hackney Marshes, Sat. 24th October 1998 ]
BIRTHDAY BADGER COOKS THE BOOKS
And how they cheered. And cheered. And cheered. When the whistle shrilled around a Hackney Marshes more suited to the filming of Waterworld 2 then for hosting an assembly of sporting legends, 13 wet but proud Blue Badgers punched their paws into the air to celebrate a momentous victory. Dunkirk, Bucks Fizz Eurovision victory and Brian Jacks squat thrust record all pale into insignificance against this 2-1 thrashing. Books could be written and sold on how a team who have been together for three games humbled a team established over ten, yes you read it right, ten years ago. To get this in perspective ten years ago star striker Rapson was only 17 and still hadn't kissed a girl or scored a goal (perhaps not a good example as both those statements still hold true). But of course the Badgers would not be so cruel as to write a book and have it sold in leading outlets including Books Etc. Or would they? A ruthless streak was apparent in a team always renowned for their silky skills with players of the quality of Oliver, Kelly, Davis and Leetham but often accused of not being up for it when the chips were down. No more. Rayner, Newsome, Brocklehurst Jnr and Ashman galloped and tackled like Vikings fighting for their first taste of a Buxom British Beauty. And it wasn't just aggression. Rayner, Newsome and that left footed genius Davis peppered the goal with shots of such quality they would have befitted a sauce for a fine fillet steak. The shot of the game came from that other left footed marvel Brocklehurst Jnr: a daring drive from the half way line which shaved the goal so close it made the MACH 3 look as effective as a Spudulike plastic knife. Rapson, always threatening, always awkward and always crafty missed a sitter after Captain Fantastic danced down the right, beat the keeper and passed it back. Rapson fluffed it - nothing more can be said on the matter.
And then it happened.
Books Etc. got goal against the wind, against the rain and against the run of play. Man of the Match, Page got a hand to it in a goalmouth scramble but not even this keeper could stop a goal that was clearly the work of the devil. 0-1 down, the Badgers stormed back to win a corner on the stroke of half-time. Kelly swung it over like only a true swinger could and Newsome towered and bellowed in with a header. 1-1.
The second half was sublime.
Salmon swam forward every now and then. Ashbury, on as sub for the young Oliver, fitted in like a cookoo egg. And Captain Creative, strangely quiet in the first half, was simply incredible. Passing, shooting, beating men like a moonwalking Michael Jackson, this Birthday Boy had the energy of an African tribesboy making his first hunt combined with the wisdom of a village elder. He was hacked, as was his striking partner Rapson - the new R&B. Fisher the ref protected these stallions and showed the goalie a yellow and should have been a red card. A blatant handball went unheeded. Rayner was gashed. Brocklehurst Jnr tackled their dreadlocked playmaker with a tackle so big it belonged to John Holmes. It all happened in the second half including a goal.
A goal that will be talked about forever and may even be knighted in its own right.
Again, Kelly looped a corner ball through, Rhythm teased it, ball hit someone (something) and then it was loose in the box. The box that is the hunting ground of Captain Panther. The Panther didn't need a formal introduction. He pounced and hit the ball with a ferocious force that saw the net bulge and defenders stare in bewildered admiration. And the badgers? Oh how they cheered.
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